There has been gnomes running through my garden.
Each with their own subject.
However there has been one that overstayed its welcome,
It has do with my process of naturalisme, as it has been 5 years.
5 years since leaving the refugee camp.
I have matters on that too, that I am not able at the moment to go further in dept,
I haven't processed it yet.
One day I might.
The matter with the naturalisme, is where I have an small hindering, I have to show what my nationality is, I am Ethiopian,
though that's completely different than where I was born
I don't have an birthcertificate, which caused my papers to tell that my nationality is unknown.
Could you imagine, going through life with your nationality, an part of your identity unknown.
Maybe not, its just a document problem afterall.
I have conflicting feelings on me having an Dutch passport,
being officiele recognised as an dutch citizen.
It goes back to the numerous thoughts of forever staying here.
That was my only dream in my younger years,
stay a little while in this camp, then my family can finally be a normal family, in a big huis, and we can finally get an dog.
Reality did end up different, I got a little brother for one, then the place which was supposed to be a flik in time, is the place I most miss,
an place I can't stop thinking about, a place I dreadfully want to go back to, and at last my family isn't something I trully want anymore,
I don't think I will ever meet my father side, though my mom has been planning that we should go to Ethiopia to meet hers, they have been looking forward to meet me, me the first born grandchild, who dreads the day of the meeting.